Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
