You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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