Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
