id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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