covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
