Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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