And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
