Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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