Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
