no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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