we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My feet surprised me
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