you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize