I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
