He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
