After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
