Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my being single is dangerous.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
