I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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