Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Terrible idea I love it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
