AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
