when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
