i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
