At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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