The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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