Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
