I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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