i already hear my dad disowning me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
