I'll bet she douches with gravy.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
