That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
