Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
