I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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