I heard we made out
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
