Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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