I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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