Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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