I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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