Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We named our party play list daddy issues
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
