I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
