Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
