would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
