I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Randomize
