Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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