after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
