just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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