what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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