Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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