If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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