I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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