careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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