i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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