I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
