Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
