Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
