I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
