How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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