i already hear my dad disowning me
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
