have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
