I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
