He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize