I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
