There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
