If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
40s are totally the cure
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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