Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
