Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
